The Journey East Part 3

 

Blessed are the flexible for they shall not get bent out of shape. DT

Today I certainly had to be flexible.  We finished our stay in Illinois with a good swim and packing up to leave by noon. We couldn’t be to my cousin’s house in Ohio until 6. So I thought if we leave at noon we will have 6 hours to get there. I figured on traffic in Indianapolis.  There is always traffic in Indianapolis… so I pulled out of our hotel with confidence that we could make it by 6 and have several hours to play and visit my cousin’s before bedtime.  We ran into several areas of road work where we had to slow down to 60 or 55 but for the most part we were moving along nicely.  We entered Indianapolis and I saw a roadwork sign that read expect slow traffic all lanes 465 north.  No problem I planned on this.  So when the GPS took me on 65 south and it said local traffic only I was a little worried but hopeful I could get on I-70 before the road was closed.  I was wrong.  I had to exit and it was very busy because everyone had to exit there. My GPS was still trying to take me on the closed road.  I saw a convenience store and decided to ask if they could tell me how I should get to  I-70.

As I parked I saw only African American people . Now I’m not racist at all and I don’t want this to sound racist but when everyone is staring at you and all the people at the gas pump are African American and all your little white children your ushering around stand out, you definitely feel a little unsettled not to mention the bullet proof glass in front of the counter your just a little more cautious.  I spoke with a nice lady who told me the road I should take them ushered my children to my really expensive car. I must have looked really out of place with the fold up running boards on my car. A nice man came up to me and asked for 65 cents. So I gave him a dollar and he went on his way.  I decided to turn off my GPS and use my brain, also pray for God’s direction and we made it out.

We arrived an hour and 45 minutes later than expected (I never factored in the time change) but we got to play outside running around wrestling in the grass enjoying the running time thanks to my cousin. The boys also found a box of her husband’s legos which put them in 7th heaven.

We get back on the road to travel our last leg and hopefully get to go right to the camp ground for 10 days of camping starting tomorrow.

Signing off from one woman to another.

Jenny Ren.

The Journey East Part 2

  • I really enjoy road trips that don’t have a deadline and I can make the rules myself. Driving across country my anthem is flexibility, my motto is stop and smell the flowers and my drive is to have fun with my kids even if it means extra driving time. I love having this opportunity to make memories with my kids. I want to be diligent about loving on each one and encouraging them to make wise decisions as we travel and deal with confined spaces.

God has made a beautiful country to travel across. The scenery is so beautiful. As I drive father east the trees become thinker and the corn becomes scarce.  I’m so glad I have the freedom to drive where I want when I want across America.

Thankfully the rest has yet to be as exciting as getting started on this trip and I hope it continues to be uneventful. It’s so neat to watch each of my kids as they play with cousins along the way or we stop at a hotel and encounter strangers they all react in a different way. J introduces all of us to a stranger on the elevator, c giggles at the group of young Woman in the hot tub being silly and showing off to them. D doesn’t want to go in the hot tub because of the girls and w is happy just swimming alone.

As we were driving on our first leg of our journey like I said it was uneventful but I did snap a few photos (stopped of course) driving across Kansas through Nebraska. W says why are we stopping here? It was in front of the welcome to Nebraska sign and I said because I want to and because I can. Then finally into Iowa to visit my sister In law and family. Along the way we stopped at a Lewis and Clark welcome center and then we drove along the lewis and Clark trail until we turned off on our exit. It was fun climbing on the replica ship and I really hope next time we go through we can go into the welcome center and see the rest of the information about that location. I love seeing the history right along the highways of america and I love sharing it with my young adventurer’s.

The fun thing about a rental car is it is so new it has all the bells and whistle and one thing the car has is GPS. When you get closer to your destination you can watch the arrow get closer to your flag. And when your w,  its the most exciting 20 minutes of your life especially when your cousins are at the flag and you get to have “supper, breakfast, lunch, supper, and then breakfast again” with cousins.

When we arrived the playing didn’t stop. It started with a nerf gun war then went to Lego’s and play mobile and back to Lego’s it was so fun to watch all the big cousins playing with the little ones. Even Jeannette got in on the games.

The hardest part about traveling alone is you don’t have that extra set of hands. As I checked in the hotel, finished with our second leg of our trip I realized just how much Adam does for me  especially when we are traveling. He runs to the car to get those forgotten items when I had to bring all the children down. He lays with one while I lay with the others to make bedtime go faster. He takes them to the pool when I need a little quiet time away. I am thankful I have this man!

So as I say goodnight and tomorrow we start our third leg. Just remember to thank those who do so much for you and give your kids an extra squeeze.

Signing off. Enjoy the photos!

The Journey East Part 1

After the week I had in preparation for my trip East with my four kid, I decided to write my blog as I go along. We (my sisters and I have been planning this trip since my mom past away. The purpose is for all of us to have a chance to look through my moms things before they are sold at a garage sale. I wasn’t sure about taking this trip alone with my kids but as the months went by I decided I needed to be there since while this will be a hard time it will also be a healing time for all of us. We are all scattered through the united states. All of them live in the Eastern US and I live in the Midwest.

I knew I couldn’t afford plane tickets for my whole family so I decided we would have to drive. I think through the months before this trip I was in denial on how difficult it might be. So when a few weeks age I decided to leave a few days earlier and visit my sister in law for a day along the way I definitely felt more peace about the trip.

Loosing a parent is the hardest thing I have experience, but I always still had a place to come home to. Loosing my second parent made it so I felt displaced and like I had no place to go. So in discussing with my sisters about how long and what this trip would look like we decided to turn it into a family camping trip. So this year marks the first annual family reunion of my parents decedent’s.

After mapping out my trip I decided to travel about 5 hours a day and stop with two family members I was beginning to feel excited about it and like we could handle it.

I want to start by telling you the proverb my brother in law used to quote and I have now found myself quoting it especially in preparation for my trip.

“Blessed are the flexible for they shall not get bent out of shape.”

The week started uneventful. My husband was planning on taking our cattle off of grass but out truck broke down so we had to take it to the mechanic. We also wanted to take our Yukon xl into the shop for a pre-trip check especially because I was driving alone with all the kids for about 20 total driving hours. (I got AAA especially for this trip) but we wanted to get it all checked and a tire put on the back. So this day was spent driving too and frow dropping off vehicles since both needed worked on. Tuesday we got a call saying our car had a problem deep in the engine and it would take two weeks to fix it because it would take so long to get to it. The mechanic said it was something bad enough that if it was driving it would make the problem worse and you might not get home in it.  He recommended that we rent a car for our trip.

Not a big deal we need to rent a car right? Well I had planned on packing my large SUV with all our bags in the back then our car top carrier with our camping gear. Then our hitch extension bike rack with our 6 bikes (I was bringing an extra for my sister). So this was going to drastically change my packing arrangements and our amount of space. So I needed to look into a large SUV to rent. I found one that was a decent price and waited to book until I had the money in the bank. I needed this car for 3 weeks because of the manor I am traveling and doing all the driving myself I am not over doing it with the time on the road each day and definitely don’t want to rush while traveling.

On Thursday I was able to cal my bank and book the rental. Since it was such a large amount the bank didn’t allow the transaction to go through. So I called to let them know I was making the purchase. It went through, BOOKED!!!!!

I began packing and getting things ready and waited to be able to pick the rental car up on Saturday. Friday we celebrated J’s birthday and I was able to relax. I knew Saturday morning I would pick up the car and have the whole day to pack. I wanted to pull out Sunday after church.

Saturday morning after Adam returned from his bible study around 9 am we drive an hour to the airport to get the car rental. I go to the agent and say “I have a reservation for a rental” the agent says “OK can I have the credit card you want to use for this” I handed him my bank card which i used for the reservation. He said “do you have a credit card that doesn’t say debit on it?” I said “Yes but its too high for my limit its going to not allow it to go through this is going to be a problem” he said ” well this is why we don’t have you pay online hotwire says you can’t use a debit card to book. Do you have another card I can charge” I said “so hot wire charges my card the money is already out (I called to confirm with my bank it was paid for) and your telling me I can’t have the car I booked and paid for ? This is balogna…” He said “Well you will have to take it up with hotwire. ”

I then called A who had been waiting at a restaurant with 3 of the kids for me because I thought it would take just a second since it was already book (I had W). He came and got me and I was mad. I called hotwire and they were so helpful to me. They said it was ridiculous that this rental car agency was doing this and we talked about different options. I could use my husbands credit card but he would have to be one of the drivers and add me for 13.50 a day (I was already spending a lot of money for 21 days of a rental car)  but that would also make it so I had to cancel and rebook which made it so I would have also had to spend 300$ more to do that on top of the extra for adding a driver that wasn’t even coming with me. GRRRRR!!!!!!!! Both ladies at hotwire were very kind and helpful.  I then decided to call my credit card company to see if I could raise my credit limit so it could at least cover the rental and I could take the same reservation for the same cost and deal with canceling with hotwire later. The credit limit was able to be raised and after lunch (this took 3 hrs) A dropped me off again. Thankfully it was a different agent. I handed him my credit card and he said “it looks like you already paid through a third party we just need this credit card for incidentals” ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Off I drove in a very fancy ford expedition! This made it so most of my afternoon was gone and we got home 15 minutes before we were to leave for our small group so off we went to church for the evening. I decided I could pack in the morning and we would just use our small group for church that day. There were no more events that I needed flexibility that day.

Sunday I woke up and started the packing of the car. A lot depended on if the car top carrier would go one the roof and if there was a hitch for this rental car. Thankfully they were both a go and we got packing going in a very timely manor. I halfway expected a new car like that to have a DVD player but instead has has a sunroof the size of Texas extending to the back seat if completely opened. It also has automatic everything which is fun but also annoying when you pack everything up and realize the charging outlet for your son is on the other side and the seat that was folded down will have to be folded up so he can sit there and you’ve already loaded everything including the bikes which make it so you can’t open the rear gate which is where the button to lift the seat is. After all this was taken care of we plugged in the brand new dual screen DVD players (bought the night before) only to realize that one of the screens doesn’t show anything except lines. (Back to Walmart) Blessed are the flexible! Thankfully there is a Walmart along the route I was taking so I said we could just go to that town have lunch and get the DVD player exchanged! On the road!

To be continued…

Jenny Ren

A Birth to Remember!

 This is a really long post as it is the whole story of how I had our daughter J. Please hang in there and read the whole thing. God really had his hand on us through this whole thing.
This story doesn’t start on the morning of July 25th, it starts about two months before. I was sitting at my midwife’s office as she was telling me that baby J is small, and if she is in the right position, she will come fast so don’t dilly dally or she would likely be born in the car.” We had an hour to drive to the birth inn so this concerned me. Over the next few weeks as I thought through this conversation I thought I had better talk to her about the specifics if this situation did arise. So at my next appointment I asked her what to expect if she did come fast. She told me she would likely be born in the car and to be prepared with some blue pads and towels and I said “okay: scenario 1: We are driving to the birth inn, in labor, going through the near by town, do I swing by the hospital?” She said “no, that’s more traumatic than its worth, just climb in the backseat, drape a shower curtain on the floor and seats and have the baby in the car.” I then thought very hard about whether I should tell A. I decided I had better tell him because he would be my birth coach and likely be catching the baby. When I told A, there was shock and horror on his face and he said, “we will not have that baby in the car” So we discussed whether we should have a home birth. After much prayer, we decided we would still try to go to the birth inn.
Fast forward, I”m 37 weeks. As my midwife is checking the position of the baby, she said “oh no! she’s breech! It must be the day for It.” (she had 2 other breech babies that day) she continued “Okay this is what you do: you kneel on the couch, put your tush in the air, your hands on the floor and wiggle your bum around and we’re going to try to turn this baby.” That’s a lot easier said than done when your 8 ½ months pregnant! I asked her if chiropractic would help? She said Yes! If your chiropractor knows the Wesley method he can turn the baby. I made an appointment right away and my chiropractor did indeed know the Wesley method. The next day, I went to my appointment and he tried his best to turn the baby. J was more active than normal that afternoon and evening and kept me awake until 1 am with her movement. I felt like she was trying to come out and it was very painful, but the next day it was confirmed she had turned and was head down! This started braxton hicks like I’ve never had before. The contractions would start and seem to be getting worse, they were hard and they hurt but they didn’t do anything.
July 11, after a day of working on a birthday cake and having contractions I questioned whether my waters had sprung a leak. I called my midwife and she said to come in the next day and she would see if we needed to get things started. So we got a sitter and we headed into the clinic, hopeful that we would come home with our baby. It was confirmed that my waters did not break and that it may have been a leak that got plugged over, so the waiting continued.
July 14 we were a little bit concerned about her size and we didn’t want to pursue a natural induction without knowing she was healthy weight and size and that her head was down. So the midwife said she wanted us to have a sonogram physical done on her. So again we made a 1 hour trip to the clinic to see the massage therapist to work on my pressure points to try and get labor started and to see our baby girl on a sonogram. The technician took all the measurements and she measured 37 weeks gestation, a week behind. She weighed 6lbs 5oz and it was confirmed the cord was not around her neck but her face was turned to the right. After the sonogram I saw the chiropractor who tried to turn her head.
I continued to have contractions from the 12 to the 15th and I thought on the 15th it was definitely different. They were coming closer together and consistently So we got a babysitter (My husbands parents were out of town that week) and took the 1 hour trip to the clinic. As we were driving contraction continued to come and didn’t stop. When we got to my midwifes clinic they just kind of stopped. I had one as she was checking the heartbeat and she felt my abdomen and said, “see this, this is not a full contraction because its not covering the entire abdomen and around your back. A real contraction will.” (You’d think I’d know what a real contraction was after 4 kids.) So again we confirmed we would not be bringing home a baby. A little discouraged, we left and decided to take the time to have a night out together. The following week and a half were spent having contractions and not knowing whether we should go in or not.
July 21st I had an appointment with my midwife and the chiropractor and they felt something in her position was different and that her head had probably turned. It didn’t click that she could come fast now because she was now turned the right way.
July 23rd I saw the massage therapist again to work on my pressure points to try to get labor started.
July 24, what I thought were braxton hicks, continued and I thought, its possible that this baby would be overdue. My midwife was out of town and her daughter was on call. We had hoped the midwife could be there for the birth.
July 25 at 3:30 am I woke to 2 hard contractions. I got up and decided to clean the kitchen up. Every false alarm prior, my nesting had taken full effect and I had a spotless kitchen when I left, but now I was just plain worn out. As I cleaned, the contractions were not getting more consistent, harder or closer together. I thought, “Oh great, another false alarm and I cant even sleep, its the middle of the night.” I worked for about 30 minutes. At 4 am I called the midwife and told her that I had 2 contractions and nothing really big after, I was going back to bed and would see what happened, but I just wanted to give her a heads up. I went back into the bedroom and A woke up, so he started getting ready to go and I tried to go back to sleep. As I laid there, I had several more contractions but they really weren’t that bad. I couldn’t really tell the difference in these from the braxton hicks. So we worked around for another 30 minutes. We called the midwife and said we thought we should come in. she thought we should wait it out for another 30 minutes. She didn’t want us to make an unneeded trip to the clinic either. We called our neighbor to say we thought this was it and that we were waiting a little bit longer to go in. At 5am we called everyone to tell them “it was time!” and we gathered our things to go in to have our baby. Contractions were in fact getting very hard and I couldn’t walk through them anymore. I had to stoop over and breath through each one as we waited. Our neighbor came and we gave her instructions. At 5:30 we pulled out of the driveway and I called my mom to tell her we were going to have the baby. I was freezing cold and nauseous, looking back I could see I was in transition but I didn’t realize it at the time.
As we drove on our paved road 110th street, my water broke. Thankfully I had asked A to put a blue pad down on the seat just in case and we had already gathered the things that the midwife recommended just in case. I called the midwife and told her my water broke. The first thing she said to me was “its okay, you still have time” I said, “I am not sure I do, I’ve never had my water break early with D it broke when I was pushing” She asked how far we were from home. I said about 10 minutes. She asked if we wanted to go back and I said no, I couldn’t imagine having a baby in my kitchen.
We were driving down the two lane highway, and things were getting harder to handle. I was very, very uncomfortable. We passed a deer in the ditch and we both whispered Thank you Jesus and then said to each other if that deer had been in the middle of the road and we hit it we would have totaled the car. We kept driving and entered onto the interstate. I felt the urge to push. I told A and he said “YOU DO???” and he drove a little faster (he was whispering prayers to keep the cops and the deer off the road the whole time). I asked A to call the midwife and tell her. She asked if there was a place to pull off. I said we were going to pass the second exit to a near by town and we could pull off there but A said he would keep driving. I think he was hoping he could still make it there. She gave the instruction to lay down the seat and that we could do this. I prepared myself to give birth in my car and A kept driving faster. I put my feet on the dashboard and began to push and could feel the head. The next push the baby was crowning and as she was born I pulled her up onto my stomach and noted the time was 5:46 am. The first thing A said was she’s crying (with relief). Thankfully I had on a sweater because I was cold, and I pulled it on top of her. She fell peacefully asleep. A stopped and got the towels we had brought (just in case) and I placed one over her as we continued driving to the midwifes house. A’s speed slowed down a bit and we called the midwife and she said “congratulations!’ we then made phone calls to our parents. The sun was coming up just as we pulled into the driveway at the midwifes house. She met us there She opened the door, assessed the situation and said “girl, you don’t even look like you just had a baby!’ She later told me it was a very clean birth. She noticed my seat belt was even still on! A got the birth kit supplies from the back of the car. She delivered the placenta and we clamped the cord, and A cut it from the drivers seat. He took the baby and I walked into the house to continue the postpartum recovery.
We were all in awe and shock that I had actually delivered a baby in the car. Looking back I see how Gods hand and peace had been upon us in what could have been a hectic and chaotic situation God gives grace for the moment. We are thankful to have J as part of our family. Her name means God is Gracious and He sure is!
As I think back on this and remember these events I am still in awe. This little girl has changed our life and we are so thankful she is part of our family.
Happy 3rd birthday little miss J!!!!
Signing off from one woman to another.
Jenny Ren.

Smell the roses

Roses are beautiful! When they blossom in spring they send off a radiant smell. While roses aren’t my favorite flower often when a man gives a woman flowers he chooses roses. A is always good at surprising me with flowers. Since we got engaged he has been bringing me roses and all kinds of other flowers. One of the things I love doing is taking in the beautiful scent of those roses. Sometimes they fill the whole room with a glorious sweet scent. Taking time in life to enjoy the little things is important. Take time to smell the roses of like or they might start wilting. 

Some ways I enjoy taking time to smell the roses is by watching little kids as they discover the world around them. As baby starts pulling on toys and making the noise come out their eyes light up with joy and the squeal quickly comes out from their excitement. Or they discover their toes for the first time and immediately suck on them. As a baby, exploring happens through their mouth. The rock outside, the sand in the mouth or the toy immediately goes to the mouth. A baby is an excellent example of smelling the roses. They go through life slowly taking it all in. Their siblings making them laugh, their daddy throwing them up in the air. Their life is filled with utter joy in there surrounding’s.

Once baby begins to walk they no longer take time to smell the roses. They get upset because things don’t work fast enough. They start yelling because the riding toy doesn’t turn the right way or it doesn’t drive fast enough. The other day we took the opportunity to go too our local zoo and “smell the flowers”. Sometimes kids speed by at the pace of light but I love watching them exploring everything. Like the baby animals at the zoo. The orangutan was so darling climbing up the enclosure and exploring her surroundings. She swings from branch to branch or in this case rope to rope almost putting on a show for us. My kids aren’t much different. It seems D has one speed, RUNNING. I seem to remember I used to be loud and yuvaltick (a german word. Like a bull in the china closest). He go around running, jumping, climbing. D’s new favorite thing is climbing the hall walls. He shimmies up the walls one foot on each wall. All the way to the ceiling. He is tickled to just show us this trick. I love watching his joy and delight in this trick.

My flowers are having a hard time growing in this heat. The 10 kittens we had this spring like to push my pots off the deck banister. This certainly do not help. I have never had a green thumb. My mother in law is a master gardener. Her gardens are spectacular. Even through its almost 100* each day her flowers always flourish. When I first moved into our house we had so many great ideas for gardens around our house. We made this beautiful rock garden in the front of our house. Oh the plans I had. We have been in this house for ten years and I am happy to say I might actually be able to keep up with my gardens over the next few years. I decided a few years ago I would focus on raising my babies instead of gardening. I decided you really can’t do both. I was trying to do it all and definitely not taking the time to smell the roses.

As I go through my summer and time is flying by and my kids are flying by me too I’m realizing that I have become a no mom. No is not fun. Now don’t get me wrong I don’t just say yes all the time but I decided I need to start weighing the real harm in some of the things I used to say no to. Does it really hurt to let my big boys stay up building their new birthday Lego sets until midnight? Does it really hurt anything to let my kids have ice cream unusually often? Well no. And does that develop a better relationship with my kids when I don’t just snap NO at them and actually think about if it’s a reasonable request. Like two ice cream cones at the buffet after dinner or not. This enriches my relationship with my children. Are their responses childish or are they rebellious. These are the things I have been weighing a lot these last few weeks. 

Taking time to smell the roses and enjoy my children is often easier when my judgment isn’t clouded with no all the time. I am about to embark on a 3 week trip with me and my children. We are traveling east to my home town. I’m actually quite excited about this trip. It’s 1100 miles. I’m taking the trip in 4 days traveling 5 hours each day. We will be visiting family and friends on the way and staying one night at a hotel. If I go into this trip stopping to smell the roses this trip will be very fun. It could be stressful but rose smelling makes it go easier.

If you see me stopped along the road with my nose in the bushes stop your car and join me. Because smelling the roses is always more fun with a friend along for the trip. Life is too short to rush around and not enjoy the small things.

Signing off from one flower smelling woman to another.

Jenny Ren