Month: August 2018

I have been wanting to write a post about our journey through home school, our decision to send our kids to public school and now our choice to send our kids to the small private school about 25 min from us.

As we began having kids A and I started talking about whether we wanted to home school or not. A was adamant about not sending our kids to public school or any school and I was open to options but to respect my husbands desires I started looking into homeschooling our oldest W even before he was school age. I wanted so badly to be the home school mom with the great home school room, all organized with my pupils being attentive and succeeding each day.  I ordered some preschool curriculum and set out to do “preschool” when W was 4. This meant that year I had a 2 year old and newborn also to tend to. This really wasn’t something I should have tried looking back on it. I think I just wanted so badly to succeed. But in the middle of that I failed and crashed and burned.

After the preschool curriculum failed I continued to search for the “right fit” for me and my son. I bought all kinds of different preschool curriculum and continued to crash and burn. When W was kindergarten age I got a hold of a curriculum called teach your child to read in 100 easy lessons. Now this was my cup of tea. Though his grandmas both taught him a bunch, we breezed through that book and finished in a good amount of time. As we began 1st grade I was weary. I had a 1 year old, 3 year old, 5 year old and a 7 year old. Things were rough with our marriage A and I were working through anger issues and stress from A’s outside work and My home school overcame us. W barely got the chance to succeed. We took a lot of “mental health” days and went to the zoo or our science center to “get away” from the intensity that was home life.  I would say that that year he fell way behind. I remember having visions of all of my 4 kids ages 7,5,3 and 1 sitting outside under the shade tree on a blanket reading about Napoleon or James Elliott. But in reality I would get everything set up and by that time the 5 and 3 year old had run off and were getting into trouble of some kind.

When you finally admit you  can no longer do something yourself. Especially something that you had visions of doing for years to come it takes a lot of humility. But it is also very freeing to give that responsibility to someone whose job it actually is.

Continuing to submit to my husbands will for me to home school our kids I ordered curriculum for W and D for the next year. I was excited about it all and could not wait to get started. I realized soon after that, that my emotional health was spent. I was reacting to small things in big ways by screaming and I couldn’t handle it anymore. One month after much time of trying to convince A to send our kids to school we decided nothing would hurt to at least go and see  what the public school was like. We liked the small size that it was. They only have K-2nd grades and a total of about 50 students. We loved the setting and felt God give us peace to send the boys there.

After the first week we realized it wasn’t as quaint as we thought. Bullying started and our boys began to lash out. (I believe they were doing what they saw their parents doing when we were dealing with our issues). We wanted to stick it out through the whole year, hopeful that it was just a season. We disciplined for any issue that was brought to our attention but we really felt they were teased and not understood and the staff didn’t give us much help in actually resolving the problem between the students. We reached out for help and nothing was done about it. This makes me so sad because our boys were pegged as the bullies and we knew they were lashing out for the teasing that was being done. It was a great learning experience but we are thankful the Lord has directed us differently this year.

I’m not going to fool myself into thinking it was just the kids in the school we went to last year. I am not going to pretend our kids didn’t had some issues with all the parts of school. Social, academically, and respect for the staff. But I also know my kids can do better than that and I have the understanding of grace and love for those boys. I also know that in a Christian community with parents who have like minded discipline and staff that are God loving people, it gives kids pegged as “bullies” in public school a second chance. So this year we get that second chance. We are attending a very small Christian school about 23 minutes from our house.

This school has a total of 25 students. Our boys class has a total of 7 kids, grades 1-3. The staff love Jesus with all their hearts and they partner with us as parents to teach this to our kids. The Lord has blessed us immensely with this school and I am excited about getting a new start. We are also “healthier” as a family. We are “healthier” as a couple and our boys are “healthier” and doing much better at working through disappointment. I am anxious about the academics. This school uses a more advance curriculum. But I know God has called us here and I also know our boys thrive on being challenged and they are both extremely intelligent. We might have some hard work ahead of us but I am confident that the teachers will be right along side us helping our kids through any struggle that might arise.

I don’t think that public school is bad. We had a very bad experience and I know there are many great schools out there and not all teachers are like the ones in this school either. This school could be perfectly fine for many other children. It was just not a good experience for us. I have no hard feelings. I know we had an all around tough year with my moms death and our family struggles it was not all the schools fault.

I also want to say that homeschooling could be perfectly fine for someone else. I love home school and really wanted to succeed at it. God had other plans for us and each year we will make the decision for what the plan should be for a our children and each year each parent does the same for their child. So whether you are homeschooling, are a public school family or a private school family Keep doing what you are doing and keep up the good work! But especially Love on those kids of yours!

Signing off from one woman to another.

Jenny Wren

I had this idea fly into my head. Why don’t we go to this state park we have never been to and go camping for a few nights. So we packed everything up and were off later than I wanted to on Thursday night. We stopping to get some food on our way and arrived at camp around 6:30.  Not long after we arrived and found a camp site we liked the thunder started on the north and south of us. We had a strip of blue sky right over top of us. Should we set up and risk getting rained on and being in a tent in a thunder storm or should we drive back home with some very disappointed kids. We decided to stay and set up. So we set up our tent and then our little easy up canopy and tied some tarps off of it so if it rained we would have a cover.  The whole time we saw and heard thunder on both sides.

We got a little sprinkle but we were able to start a fire and have some hot dogs and marshmallows. Here is a picture of our view.

God was really good to us. The rain did not come onto us until the kids were all asleep. Something that I didn’t plan for was all the bug bites. They ate all of us really badly and I had no anti itch cream or I usually use Lavender oil to help with bites. I had none of that oil. SO the first night all of the kids were tossing and turning and I am pretty sure I almost lost my mind when W says to me mommy I need to go potty at 4 Am. I said ok go behind the tent in the trees he said I have to go poop. So I stumbled up to the bathroom and stumbled back. ugh. Who’s crazy idea was it to go camping anyway?

The mosquito had a feast on us but we were also extremely hot. In PA you make sure to bring long pants and sweat shirts along with lots of blankets because the evenings  get so cold. Not here in KS. It was hot the whole night. I think I just used a sheet and all my kids were sweaty in their sleeping bags.  We all tossed and turned until dawn when all the kids were up. Thankfully A got up and made a fire with the kids and I stayed in bed for a little bit longer.

That day we spent riding bikes, exploring the camp ground, cooking food and going swimming. By the end of the night everyone was eaten alive and we had no anti itch cream and we thought if we didn’t get some kind of cream we may not get through the next night with any more sleep. So Adam went to the town 40 minutes away and I watched the kids play in the water. It was so nice watching the sun set as my kids ran in and out of the water playing with each other. Even J ran in and out on her own. It made my heart happy to see that. We got through the night with more sleep and first thing in the morning a young couple pulled in and set up camp next to ours. We didn’t know if we were going to stay another night but when we saw 5 other vehicles pull in and two other tents being set up with what looked like college age kids or a little older we knew it was going to be a party all night and probably keep us up so we decided we would pick up camp and go home that day.

God must have given us prompting because we came hope to two very bad situations. The first thing we saw was my new glass patio table shattered into piece. It was definitely not the thing we wanted to see when we had a car filled with things to unpack and laundry to do. But Adam went right to work sweeping the glass from the deck and had it cleaned up rather quickly.  I unpacked the car and then entered the house. When I opened the door I heard whining coming from J’s bedroom. I opened the door to find our dog, shep locked inside. In the rush of our packing he snuck in the house and ended up in her room and someone closed the door on him. I also saw the door frame trim clawed so bad it had broken off and there were splinters everywhere. That poor dog 🙁 I then let him outside and went back in to assess the damage and how many messes we would have to clean up. He left no mess. He held his pee and poop for 2 days! He is such a great dog. Wow I couldn’t believe it.

We figured there was a big wind storm that took our umbrella and sent it flying,  hitting the glass on the table and shattering it. I am very sad about this since I just bought it in June.  I am more amazed that I didn’t have a mess to clean up from the dog. He’s a keeper. Sorry I didn’t get any pictures because my phone was captive in my bag in the car for most of this HEHEHE.

The next morning we woke up to a very wet outside and again thanked God he prompted us to go home Saturday so we didn’t have to pack up camp in the rain.

We loved this spot so much we are now making plans to go camping with some of our friends before winter hits 🙂 But two things we must have is a tent bug sapper and a battery operated fan 🙂

Signing off from one crazy to another.

Jenny Wren

After the 11 loads of laundry I was absolutely exhausted. I really wanted to get on the road by Saturday morning but it was just out of the question. After almost two weeks of little to no contact with Adam I was ready to literally fall into his arms but I had 1100 miles of road between me and him.

Saturday morning we took some time to walk through my moms house and identify the family heirloom’s. We had such a peaceful time dividing the big furniture items among us sister’s. God was definitely in the  midst of us as we each chose the things we wanted we all felt happy with the decisions.

Each time we go back home I am sure that it will become more normal. It was hard setting foot back in my moms house. It was Left the way she had it with all the little areas of special things just the same. It was like at any moment she would walk in with her smiling face and give me the hug my heart longs for. Maybe she’s taking a long ride on her horse through the fields.  But as I sat there the tears started to flow and my heart ached more for her.

I knew that part would be hard but I was hoping I had healed enough that it wouldn’t be that hard but here we are and the tears are flowing and I can’t avoid it.

On ward to pack the car. Things never get packed as fast as I plan, especially doing it alone. I had three extra bins of clothing to pack and All of our 5 bikes plus a new tent that was twice as big as our last one. I shoved all the camping gear in our car top carrier and it wouldn’t shut. So I climbed on the roof and jumped on the top to get it too close. Putting all my weight slamming my body on top of it, it finally latched And I was able to get it ratchet on top. One step is done. Next step is to pack the back of the car because once the bikes are on the hitch rack the back door will not open.

As I begin ratcheting on our load I start to realize I’m going to need more ratchet straps. So after we saw a family movie Saturday night I went to the nearby Walmart. It was in a town that was surrounded by mountains which meant my already lousy phone reception would definitely not have reception. So when my GPS took us on another closed road I was thankful to have my nice K with me. She helped me navigate through the closed roads so I could focus on driving through the dark roads that I didn’t know. She later said she thought we were going to die lol. I definitely wasn’t at that point. 😂

When I woke up on Sunday morning I was determined to pull out by noon. After wrapping 11 ratchet straps around the bikes and three rubber bins I had everything tied down… Or so I thought. Off we drove.

Two hours down the road I knew something was wrong with my load when I couldn’t see the handle bars of one of my bikes so I pulled off and retied the last two ratchet straps as best as I could and decided at the next Walmart I would get another ratchet strap. I needed that one to tie around the entire load and lock on the back of the rack. So I found the Walmart and got my ratchet strap and I tied the back on and felt it would ride much better this way.

I drove until I was too exhausted to drive any further. It was only 3 1\2 hours from my sisters house but hey it was something. I was a little bummed that I couldn’t go further. But at least it was a little ways. Tomorrow I will push hard.

Signing off from one woman to another.

Weary traveler.

Jenny Ren

 

When we arrived in PA my oldest sister had made t-shirts for all of us. The plan was to tie dye them. Tie dye these day is so cool. You band your shirts and then use squirt bottles with multiple different colors to make a multi color tie dye. This is way better than any tie dye I did when I was a kid.

Here’s some before and after pictures of our tie dye project.

The last day of camp was Friday. We still had to go through my moms heirlooms that we were supposed to split between us girls. I’m glad we packed up early because it took me all day Saturday to pack my car.

Evertime I return home my sister R sends me home with lots of hand me down clothes for J and also some boy clothes that fit C. This time was no different. She sent me home with 3 rubber bins of clothes so loading my car was rather complicated.

Friday morning I packed up my family’s clothes and headed out. My sisters JS and M were going to stay behind with thee 3 teenage girls and pack things up. This would allow us to take the little ones and especially my little  niece A and J home to my sisters house were they weren’t as hard to keep track of. So off we went. When I arrived at R’s house it was apparent to me that laundry needed to be done. I told R that I could take everyone’s laundry to wash at the laundry mat. She said she could stay with the boys and wash all the clothes while I took everyone’s bedding to wash in the big machines. I took J with me and we stopped back at the camp to get the rest of the bedding they had packed up.

The load of bedding was incredible.

When we sorted through all of our bedding and distributed it to owners and we were all exhausted. I was more than happy to put my kids in bed and fall asleep in an actual bed. First I had to go to town and get some more ratchet straps and rubber totes. Off to Walmart we went at 10 pm.

Signing off from one woman to another.

Sleepy in PA

Jenny Ren

 

Rain was predicted for one of our camping days, so instead of keeping the kids in the camper or tent all day because of the rain I decided to visit my longtime friend who lives about 2 hours from our campsite.

Two years of my life after highschool I spent doing an apprenticeship program. During that time I made many friends and the thing about this program is those are the people I grew the most with. We went through the dirty parts of our life together we healed together and cried together. We also worked very hard together. Worked on learning but physically worked. We helped build homes, remodel buildings, Bucked bails, fed horses, built fence, cut wood. We did life together. We cried together and really got to know each others hearts. There were 8 girls that were chosen for a second year and we became even closer.

I always enjoy visiting one of these 8. We had our kids pretty close together. We always seem to be able to just pick back up and talk about the important things in life. Making these kinds of friends makes it hard to find friends that come at the same depth. There is something about going through those things together that bind you close. So whenever I’m home I call her up and we spend a day together.

This time it worked out that we would get lots of rain at camp so I decided that was the day for a visit. We had so much fun. I don’t think I saw W all day he had such a great time playing with her oldest boy. He immediately asked when we could see them again. I think these once a year visits might get harder as our kids get older and connect better.

Even though we aren’t physically close I know there’s a friend that will be there for life. Thanks for opening your home to us and loving me all these years. Your a very special friend.

When we arrived back at camp we find out the weather can not be predicted because it is unpredictable and didn’t rain a drop. It was great to have a day apart from each other. Reuniting is always good and the kids went right back to riding bikes and playing hard. Time for another day at camp.

Here’s a picture of our 8 kids between the two of us. Ages 9, 8,7,5, 5, 3, 3, and 1.

Signing off from dry camp! Yet very muddy from previous rain.

 

Jenny Ren.

Waking up to beautiful PA is a treat. We had heavy dew and chilly nights. The kids instantly went to bike riding and so did I. We went to the water, around the camp ground, and up and down a lot of hills. We enjoyed relaxing in camp, watching cousins play and talking with sisters.

My family has always been mostly girls. I had 3 sister’s and really didn’t get to know any of my step brothers growing up. We had mostly girl cousins on my moms side of my family and on my dads side my cousins were closer to my dads age than to mine so we didn’t know them very well. We had all 4 of us sisters and only two girl cousins for many years. Then there came the cluster of boy cousins, but I wasn’t around them very much because I was either in NY state or out of the house. Then my sisters started having kids and all of them were girls until W came around. My sister also has a step son that was in the picture but we didn’t see much of. Needless to say when W came along it was new territory for me.

When we get together with a’s side of the family the girls are always outnumbered. When we see our side the girls are the greater number. It always makes me really happy to see J playing with my youngest neice A. A has Downs. She is such a special girl. Watching them play dolls or give kisses makes me so happy. A sometimes is over loved. She gave C a zerbert (raspberry) and just giggled until C and J both on either side of her started giving them back. Her face changed to say “what did I do?”. She is the happiest little girl until she doesn’t get what she wants and then she can put up a stink. She is 4 years old and has great attitude and sass but puts on the lovin like the best of them. I am so glad for the mayhem and memories that came from our little A.

A’s brother is H. He learned how to ride a two wheeler this week. He loves passionately and is rather funny at times. He mostly goes around very serious about life. He is 6 right between the ages of my C and D. Its pretty neat the stair step cousins we have. Before D in age is S. She is my oldest sister’s daughter. S likes things done a certain way and when they aren’t its heard about. She was often found leading W around arm in arm or racing him trying to outwit him to the finish. We loved seeing W and S walking around in conversation about who knows what. But when two cousins get together that like things a certain way things turn into madness at times and Mayhem was often the name of the game. But who really remembers those moments? Its the moments of roasting marshmallows, kayaking, riding bike and enjoying life together that  fills our memory bank. Riding back to the campsite in the rain with my niece V. Watch my niece K flip her kayak, seeing the joy in my niece T playing with C and making him belly laugh. Seeing my kids enjoy playing with my moms dogs who are now cared for by my sister M. Those are the things my memory banks. Madness Mayhem and memories end up all being great memories that last a lifetime.

Signing off from one woman to another.

Dirty, camping, and happy.

Jenny Ren.

As we pull out of Ohio I am running on empty. After being the sole care giver for 4 small children for 4 days I’m exhausted physically. Its bittersweet driving home. The fact that this is the first time I have been home since my mom has gone was extremely hard. As I drove it was hard to hold back the flood of emotion. Memories of the excitement of coming to mammies house, the excitement from mammie for our arrival. Nothing is the same. Sister’s are excited but they don’t make quite the same big deal out of it. They don’t give the big embrace a mothers arms do. I had to go see them. They didn’t come running to see me. Its time to pick up my big girl boots and take care of myself more. Its not easy and not fun at all to have to be a big girl. I no longer have my mom to take the crying child that followed me around the entire two days we stayed at my sister’s house and I was getting things ready for camping. She’s not there to entertain my kids while I take a shower. She’s not there to give me the mom hug when you find out your tent doesn’t have the poles that should be packed in the bag and they are actually in Kansas still. As I’m driving down the road I’m remembering these things and thinking about all the new memories that will be made.

The intent of this trip is four women to take their 10 kids (total) camping for ten days. Will it be mayhem? YES! Will it be loud? YES! Will we have fun? YES! Will we make unforgettable memories? YES!  The camp ground we are going to is the one my parents met at. Our family has been going to this camp ground since before we were around. There are so many great memories here and we hope to make so many new memories. 

As everyone is getting things ready for our trip I realize my kids are ready and our things are ready and everyone else is almost ready. I felt like all of my kids needed a nap or at least a break from the intensity of playing with cousins for a long periods of time while the adults are distracted packing.

So I decided to take my kids a little early so we could drive around and take a nap. Well that did not happen. I was so exhausted beyond belief. I could hardly keep moving but I had to to get everything ready for camping. We drive into camp and it was hardly 5 minutes before I figured out it was a bad idea. My kids were whiney they were tired and I was whiney and tired too. I pile them into the car and did the you “better straighten up” speech.  And we were saved by the other’s pulling into camp then the prep and set up started. I unloaded my car top carrier and my tent. I opened the bag and unrolled the tent only to find out we had no poles. I held back tears but after 2 hours of everyone happily setting up camp and me helping but not being able to get mine set up I was stressed. I was finally able to go to Walmart and buy a new tent. It has tent poles built in. It was a very easy set up. I get the tent set up and start blowing up 4 air mattresses.  By 8 PM I was done with everything and crying and ready to go back home before we even started. Talk about a bad attitude.  The first night we get to bed and have a good night’s sleep.  We were all exhausted.

I love so much spending time watching my kids playing with cousins.  And boy did they play.  The first day they also began to learn better how to ride bikes. And w just took off with his riding. I also rode a lot on my bike the first few days.

In the evening we decided to go kayaking.  This was one of my moms favorite things to do with her grand kids especially. As we decide who is riding where, we set off. My sister R and I  in a canoe  with C,J, and my niece A. J cried the whole way out because I wouldn’t let her have the ore. Then my niece A cried the whole way home because she wanted her daddy. My older neices had their own kayaks and my sister M had D with her. Still pushing off the shore were my brother in law and W in one kayak and my sister JS. My brother in law and W barely got off shore and they flipped their kayak.  W was done then and by that time the others had rowed out and were coming back.  It was hard figuring out how to steer the canoe and my stomach hurt from all the laughing we did.  We got to shore determined to come back again.  Adventures were done after supper and bedtime.  On to the next days adventures in the morning.

Signing for now

From one woman to another

Jenny Ren