I love being a mom most of the time. The little hands in everything. The helpers always putting there hands in whatever I am doing. But especially the kisses and love. When my kids were really little the helping wasn’t so helpful. Now my boys pitch in and help mostly if there is some kind of reward in it for them in the end. Over spring break we were earning tickets for chores that they were doing. One evening D cleaned off the table after dinner, washed the dishes, cleaned the living room floor and vacuumed. He earned 3 tickets that night (Clearing the table is part of there daily chore).
Its hard sometimes to get these little ones to help out and work for me. I have tried all the chores lists, trying to get my kids to help me especially when I was so tired with a new baby. Some wise moms (each had 10 kids) told me a few years ago not to expect your kids to help out very much until they are at least 8. I think that was really good advice (it at least took the pressure off me). I used to kill myself trying to get my kids to do chores and just getting stressed at them. My oldest is 8 and he is just starting to really be able to do most of the chores I would want him to. I normally have all my kids help with a few chores. They clean up toys and generally pick up the house. They each help set the table (Even J who is 2 1/2). They also clear their spot, saying thank you for the food, may I please be excused when they are finished. W has been mowing our lawn since last summer and D will start picking up the yard before he mows. Other than that I really don’t have a lot of expectations for my kids. They still give me trouble sometimes about picking up toys. I started setting a timer and that sure puts them in drive mode.
The other thing that is fun as a mom is sharing everything. The other day I made Breakfast for all of us. Eggs for A and J, oatmeal for C and I (The other two were at school already). We sat down and J started fussing when she saw my oatmeal (I asked if she wanted it when I started breakfast, She picked eggs). So I told her I would give her mine and she started eating. I said “Well I didn’t want that oatmeal anyway”. Sometimes its going to the bathroom. “I didn’t want privacy anyway”. Sometimes its my paper I’m writing on or the thing I might be looking at. Being a mom NOTHING is yours. Not even your body. Since they entered your womb they have been reeking havoc on your body. Morning sickness, kicking your ribs, back pain, your body shape looks more like a duck than a woman. Afterwords you start wearing spit up as your perfume, you have permanent bags under your eyes and you don’t remember the last time you took a shower or brushed your teeth (I know people thats gross, but lets be real). Something else that is permanent is your coffee cup. It is permanently in your hand. You don’t feel human until you have your COFFEE!
Basically as a mom your life is not your own anymore. You sacrifice everything but the rewards are far greater. The rewards of their love that is unending even when you loose it on them. They bring so much joy to our lives in all there cute little things they do. Then when they grow older you start feeling proud of the people they become. They each have a unique personality and are fashioned in a different way and you love each of them. The other thing is the excitement you feel in seeing what the future holds for them. Will they be the Cowboy they are dreaming of being or the mechanic they are naturally bent towards?
Motherhood is also the toughest thing I have experienced. (Someone told my husband once, “Parenting isn’t for cowards). In giving up everything and making so many sacrifices it sure does bring out my selfishness. It brings me to my knees in prayer more often than not because I don’t know anything about what I am doing and He certainly does. I know the tears I have shed as a mom are many and really the journey is just beginning for me. I am sure I will shed many more tears. It is hard but you don’t have to do it alone. Comment here if you need some help or encouragement. I am no expert but I have struggled through many issues with my kids in all kinds of categories.
Signing off from one woman to another.
Jenny Ren
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